I Am Myself

I have been reading the results of Google searches. I have run across all sorts of great literature. I have run across some "ex-mormon" type blogs. It appears that there are a group of bloggers who say similar things about why they no longer believe in the LDS Church. It sort of makes me nervous.

I have to say that I can't say all the same things that they say. I think that this blog has a bent to it that is more psychological in tone. I know exactly what all of this over-zealous religious stuff can do to your brain. My brain has tons of information on this one.

I think that maybe I hoped to be read by doing this blog. I am starting to hope to be sincere and actually write about what I want to write about. It can be insanely boring. It can be insanely dangerous.

This blog really is only affiliated with one group--ME.

I think that it is good that I have some communities to explore should I get too lonely. However, I am spending as much time alone as possible. I am actually trying to un-brainwash, not find a different organization or group to put my allegiance to. I think that my reasons, particularly a search for the truth, are really good.

I may post links on this blog from time to time. They are things that I think are good, not things that groups of people think are good.

And it should be noted that I need to blog in order to get myself the therapeutic benefits that I need to emotionally recover from feeling that my life is not my own and fearing going to hell. It is actually a slower process than I thought. It is more complicated. I feel more guilt than I thought I would feel. Because it appears that one thing can actually override and improperly educate my conscience: Years and years of unrelenting and merciless brainwashing.

I know what the Mormon Church does to people. And I will keep talking about it.