A Big Sex and Relationship Thumbs Down

Something just occurred to me. I was reading the NOM message board about LDS attitudes about gay people. There are two attitudes:

1. Gay sex is a sin. Having gay attractions to the same sex is a sin. Gay people are sinners. They need to convert to heterosexual ways of seeing things.

2. Gay people are born the way they are. They do not sin just because they are attracted to persons of the same sex. As long as they avoid gay sex they are not sinning at all. They need our love and compassion to deal with their fates, however. It is so hard to be gay, like being mentally ill or blind. So, basically, they need all of our love, in fact more than the average person to deal with their struggles.

I think both viewpoints are annoying. Viewpoint #1 is entirely inflexible and probably goes against basic human psychology. When was anyone ever to change their attractions through therapy, unless they underwent so much brainwashing that they developed other harmful psychological problems. It also assumes that heterosexual means good. And homosexual means evil. When was the last time you thought someone was a really good person based on their heterosexual attraction to, say, women? And when was the last time you found out someone was gay and realized that they were also totally evil? Does this happen in real life? It really doesn't happen as much as some people think it happens.

Viewpoint #2 is what I call the "feel sorry for" effect. Basically, anyone with a problem is intensely pitied. Besides, there are probably many people who don't feel tortured once they choose how to deal with a same sex attraction. Some people would rather be gay than schizophrenic or crippled anyway. Is gayness a social difficulty or a disability? I am thinking that it is more of a difficulty than a disability. And yes, on a social level, many people can suffer. Also, persons making this statement do not know how much of a sin gay sex is or is not. They are not making an accurate enough judgment about what about any sexual act would be a sin. Also, if a gay sex act is a sin, does that mean that someone is now completely evil for doing it once or twice? Or is there something more going on? I don't know the answers to these questions, and so I cannot even manage to agree with anything stated in viewpoint #2.

Overall, I am probably clueless about gayness myself. It occurs to me that both of these viewpoints could be produced by a non-gay mind. They have both been produced by persons who are heterosexual. That is what I think.

And then there are other problems. When it comes to the LDS Church and sex, sex is not an act that is understood at all. The LDS Church deals with the presence of sex by stuffing it into marriage. Also, many married people have actually been told by leaders to leave their garments on while having sex. A certain percentage of people may actually be doing this, too. For the LDS Church, there is nothing natural about sex in the first place.

Heterosexual people have trouble with sex in the LDS Church. When was such a church ever the holder of the solution to the problem of gay people and gay sex? Everyone who has any type of sex and needs advice would not get any good advice about it. It just seems to me that there is a kind of mystery surrounding normal human relationships from the viewpoint of the LDS Church. The LDS Church over-emphasizes families, under-emphasizes friendships and social behavior, and tries to hide normal sex in a closet. Church authorities will even tell people that they shouldn't even think sexual thoughts. That would be an unchaste sin.

How would a gay person be converted from homosexual to heterosexual if they can't even think anything about heterosexual sex either?

In fact, in the area of dating, things are even weirder. The General Authorities had an article published in an Engisn magazine a few years ago about dating vs. hanging out. In the article, they claim that hanging out is not something that should not go on between men and women. This is because it discourages dating. They also stated that a date was practice for the kind of commitment made in marriage. A bunch of old guys are running the Mormon Church. And so, instead of trying to learn about the full spectrum of behavior of young people and the opposite sex, they decided to find one behavior and condemn it.

At first when I read the article, I was thinking that these old guys were right. After all, I hadn't gotten married, and this must be because not enough young men asked me out. This could technically be true. I have not dated a lot, and I happen to not be married.

However, after I stopped believing so much in LDS Church doctrine, I looked at the Ensign article with a new pair of eyes. I realized that part of any human relationship is what is called "hanging out." People end up spending time in the same room. Maybe one spouse is fixing the TV and the other spouse is reading a John Grisham novel. Does this mean that they are hanging out and will ruin their relationship?

On the contrary! They will not ruin their relationship. They are strengthening it by tolerating each other's hobbies and activities. If two people can do things in the same room together, it may be that they get along.

In fact, in any relationship there is a lot of hanging out. Any real relationship where people enjoy each other's company a lot is a relationship where they do things like watch movies together, have conversations together, do homework together, etc. This often happens in the same room! It's hanging out! Oh no! I better duck! The world is evil!

Send me a logic pill express!