Rotten Cores of Mormonism

Well, yesterday I was talking all about being depressed. Reading that blog entry, I can tell that I am not so depressed anymore. I took the bus to get a prescription filled and shop for food. I feel better. I still need to get my driver license renewed. I haven't been getting out a lot. I felt very happy to be away from home in the grocery store. I needed to get out. It made me feel a lot better. I can feel the energy in my eyes. I actually have energy!

At any rate, I think I am still sort of screwed up. But I am not bogged down by all of it anymore. I'll go get my license renewed on Monday and feel even better.

Yesterday's entry is sort of a scary one. To hook depression up to the doctrines of the LDS Church is something that I never thought of before. To say that depression is appreciated among Mormons more than it really should be is a very menacing idea that makes everything I experienced in Mormonism even scarier.

I am not intending to scare people, but to tell the truth. The news about depression and LDS women has appeared this year. It alone is scary. The news stories have implied that the depression is all about the need for perfectionism. However, I did not always try to be perfect and I still got depressed. I would feel guilty, or I would feel anxious. The guilt and anxiety would burn me out. And then, I was afraid to look too happy in church. I thought I was being evil. I am starting to understand that the doctrine of humility in the LDS Church is out of control. The doctrine of humility literally produces low self-esteem and depression. You are supposed to have a broken heart and a contrite spirit to show that you are humble and repentant of your sins. I find this doctrine scary. I think that it causes people to make themselves even more unhappy.

My brother actually said one day that you could be happy AND have a broken heart and contrite spirit. I tried to research the matter, but found little depth to it but a promotion of the basic doctrine of the broken heart and contrite spirit. I really do not feel that this doctrine can coincide with true personal happiness. Worse yet, Mormons believe that broken hearted, contrited spirited persons are really persons who are born again. So, when Jesus says in the Bible that we must be born again, Mormons think it means we have to have a broken heart and a contrite spirit.

Is this where the leaders want us? Do they really want us that emotionally weak? Do they want us asking our leaders for more approval and more spirituality while the church erodes under the feet of every weeping member? Do Mormon leaders really expect church and stake leaders to hold up their wards and stakes with the weak leadership that such low regard for self could produce?

I find Mormon doctrine a joke. I find the manufactured, deepened humility a kind of albatross around the neck of the Mormon experience. I decided to drop my humility junk awhile ago. I decided that I was being fake. I didn't realize that it was also making me unhappy. And yet, every major doctrinal road of Mormonism only increases the burdens of the average person, inside and out.

I think that something is very wrong with a religion that could have lived for years with such ridiculous doctrine. I think that only the doctrine that Jesus Christ and Satan were brothers in the pre-existence could be worse.

I have just found the rotten core of Mormonism. That is how I feel today. I am laughing because I seem never to be done exposing to myself or others the sham that this religion could represent.

Let me list the rotten cores.

1. Polygamy
2. Broken heart, contrite spirit doctrine
3. Jesus Christ and Satan are technically spiritual brothers
4. The atonement can fix your life now, but it can't save you from your sins in the next life. The doctrine of works is emphasized above any doctrine of grace. The Mormon idea of grace is a screwed up mess.
5. LDS women are the childbearers of the world and cannot hold the priesthood. Men are superior to women in their role in leading the church and the family.
6. Temple ceremonies are cultic rituals that have nothing to do with our personal salvation.
7. The Book of Abraham is a proven fraud.


I have listed seven rotten cores so far! I think that I am recognizing something else. Mormons believe that if you have reached despair, or depression, you are in sin. Why would this be? Wouldn't the broken hearted, contrite spirit doctrine be interfering with the doctrine that we should be of good cheer? Now I have something to write about for the Church Office Building to read! This is big! This is a disaster! How can Mormons be against being unhappy, and yet be for having a broken heart and a contrite spirit? It's time to call the farce! It's time to arrest the fraudulent and promote a simpler world view! No wonder so few Mormons can be happy! No wonder so many postmormons feel their lives are so much better and freer! It isn't just that Mormonism is too strict! It's that it's way, way too illogical!

I am very excited! I am truly starting to understand the religion that nearly ended my emotional well-being!

I am alive! I am free! I am knowledgeable!